I had an answer to prayer on the way to work a couple of days ago. I was listening to a conference talk and I heard again what I have been feeling and thinking about a lot in the past many months. That I need to experience a mighty change of heart to feel charity and serve with the right attitude. I asked, as I drove, how I could get there because I know I have the desire but that does not seem to be enough. I felt immediately that I need to make a commitment to praying and studying the gospel. Not a big or difficult task, just a solid commitment. That was the first time in a while where I realized directly from the Lord, what I had been hearing and thinking for a long time. I am cautious to commit because of issues that I talked about in my last entry but I think that its all tied together and that I need to make the effort.

This morning in Virginia Beach I put my knee brace on and got on a treadmill for the first time in over 8 months. I tried to walk fast but I was bored so I cranked the speed up to a whopping 4.6 mph and pushed my knee and my increasingly round shaped body. I ran for about 25 minutes with some walking mixed in but in the middle I ran a full mile in 13:56. That is pathetic compared to my previous life but for my post-surgery self, it was a small miracle! I really want to push a little harder each week and get myself back. It is only mid afternoon now and my knee hurts so bad I can barely walk but each step reminds me of my morning victory and having earned the pain somehow gives me a sense of pride in my slight limp.

I fired one of my long time scaleman this week for stealing. You would think that with the tough time I have been having, this would have been negative catalyst for me, but I knew that I was in the right and he was in the wrong and I even felt better than I have been feeling after I did it. I am often overwhelmed and/or discouraged at work thinking about all the ways I need to improve the processes or employees or culture, etc. This week was no different but I know I am appreciated and I am making strides each week. I am very good at having a vision. This, I believe, is a crucial leadership skill. I struggle sometimes with the "how do we get from here to there" quesiton and I am working to figure out the best way to answer it in each circumstance.

I wanted to add that I love my kids and I love my wife. There is definitely a special bond between a little boy and his dad and I love it. It is an honor to know what these young and excited kids will grow to become. I see a simple faith in Bella that is stronger than most any child I have ever met. She is only 6, and very much 6 in many ways but she truly believes that praying to her Father will resolve any problem she is having. And most of the time, she is right.